How are you?

1) Had an Amazing time at Eric and Jen's wedding party. What a blast. I gave a toast. I was nervous as hell, but I think it went well. It's tough when something means that much to you.
The Party was at the Catalyst Ranch. The place was cool as hell. I wish I had a loft to decorate...
The food was great as well. Cupcakes from Sweet Mandy B's. I ate 3. I tried as hard as I could to get drunk. I had like 5 liquor drinks, and my man was making them to turn your hair white. Still, all I got was a headache over my left eye.
A gentleman carries a handkerchief...I'm just saying. Some great bits that weekend.
2) I cut the grass and had an inaugural fire in my fire pit in my yard this weekend.
3) My new favorite Miette word is "waffle". Every time she hears the toaster she says it. But she says, "Whaw-Full". It kills me every time.
4) Rerun hurt his neck, probably falling down the stairs. It's happened to him before. He's got a kink in his neck, and when he turns a certain way, he yelps super loud and it's usually in the middle of the night.
5) The face that launched a thousand phone calls.
This morning I got an urgent call from my attorney.
The Background: As a condition to our house close we had to get released from a shared driveway agreement we had with the neighbors. To do that, we had to offer to pay to have a tree that stands in the way of them having their own driveway cut down. Today is the day they're doing it.
Anyway, apparently, the woman that bought our house stormed out and told the tree guys they were cutting down the wrong tree. They called their attorney wheo called ours. I called the tree guys. They had the right tree. My realtor even got a call from theirs. Anyway, I straightened them out. The woman who boughtour house had apparently stormed out of the house and handed the tree guy a cordless phone with her attorney on it, and also said something to the effect of "good luck getting paid for this". Good lord what cuntery. First of all, the tree removal was between my neighbor and me. She had nothing to do with it, and was just thinking it was a different tree than the one we're actually cutting down. So she decided to show what a mettlesome bitch she is.
Again, I am reminded of the Rowdy Roddy Piper song "For Everybody" on Wrestlemania: the Album. If you have not heard it, you are doing yourself a disservice.

Go to Macy's and stuff your Facies.

My sister Katie came down for Lunch yesterday. We went to InField's in the basement of Macy's (...doesn't have the same ring to it...) and she had the bbq pork sandwich. It's not a pulled pork sandwich, but slices of pork slathered in a fantastic sauce and served on a bun. Get there and Get one.

A weight has been lifted.

The ink is dry. We sold the Westmont house. We didn't go to the close, lest I be tempted to say, " That place is Haunted as FUCK!".
I will miss that house. Kiki broke down in tears on her final walk-through. I didn't cry, but I sure loved it.
Also, what makes a neighborhood is the neighbors. My Neighbor Mike is everything you'd want in a neighbor. A resourceful, stand-up kinda guy. He proved it again yesterday. When I'd gone to the house the last time, He'd cut the fucking grass! I had intened on leaving it for Don & Stacy Schiffner, but Mike cut it. Both for his old neighbor, and his new neighbor. He's that kind of guy.
He did that while his wife is days away from giving birth. Raise a glass to Mike Barnes, everybody.
My lifestyle of intense personal crisis is starting to level out. The feeling that I've been hit in the chest with a cannonball has started to subside. Hopefully my skin will clear up and this headache will go away soon as well.
Miette's new favorite word is Okay. She walks around saying "ooooh-KAY!" like she's blowing somebody off.
One of those little bastards at daycare bit her last week. Drew blood and all. Kiki thought it was ringworm, but the teeth marks were soon clear as day. I guess he bit a few other kids as well, and we got a tearful apology over the phone from the mother.
Last night she did a bit. She took her shirt off the floor and tried to walk. When we laughed at her, she lifted the shirt from her face, laughed, then pulled it back down and kept doing it. It was great. She is great.
Here's to Fall.
Here's to Y'all.

2 things I plan to use

1) Hunktoberfest
2) MC Rhythm Method

Watch out for them on a stage near you. I might sneak in "This place is Haunted as FUCK"!
Fall is my favorite season.

Okay, but I'm NOT paying for an Exorcism!

The house sale is getting recockulous.
The longer we wait to close, the more shit they find for us to "fix".
The more Money I lose because I put myself in this situation of NEEDING to sell this place.
Well, Last week proved it could be worse.

I told my attorney to set a close date so they couldn't call a seismologist and make me pay for future earthquake damage.
Last night it occurred to me that it would be hilarious to be at the closing, and then just as all the papers have been signed, I'd say, "Thank GOD! That place is haunted as FUCK!"
My wife has told me there will be no bits or even smiles at the close. Now it looks like the Attorney will handle it for us and we won't even be there.
I will not celebrate until it is SOLD.

Illegitimate non carborundum

It's latin for "Don't let the bastards grind you down." I should be living by that a lot more than I am lately.
1) My brother is out of the hospital. Thanks to all of you that reached out to me upon reading the last post. The most likely cause of his problems were his anti-rejection drugs for his transplanted lungs; more accurately, an overdose of said drugs. He still has pneumonia, and some bloating from all the liquids they put in him, but he's home and stable and that's important. Saturday the 16th, he thought he was going to die. He couldn't breathe. My parents witnessed the whole thing. They gave him some steroids and finally his breathing regulated. They thought they'd have to put him back on a respirator, but they didn't have to. You'll forgive my lack of posts of late.
2)The house sale is like having nails driven into your knees.
They keep grubbing for cash and "finding" problems with the house. It was built in 1929, people! What the fuck do you want?
3) I had 2 very important conference setups yesterday; one for the firm's managing partner, the other for my boss' boss. The could not have gone more poorly. I was sweating the fat drop yesterday.

I'ma keep jumping through hoops, because I haven't got a choice. No shows for 2 weeks on account of weddings is making Jack a dull boy.

I may explode.

A couple quick updates.
1) My brother is back in the hospital. He has something wrong with his lungs. When he went in, he had enough potassium in him to stop his heart. Now they don't know what's wrong. They thought it was Pneumonia, then a fungal infection. Now today they gave him a bone marrow Biopsy. We all know that means the possibility of leukemia. I am beside myself.
2) We have a bid on the house. I won't celebrate until the ink is dry. Especially because it's for a lot less than we were hoping. If I had to do it over, I'd sell this house before buying another.
3) Work is a blur of busy-ness.
4) My evenings are consumed getting the rest of the shit out of my old house, and order instilled in the current house.

I feel like someone is squeezing my brain.