Monday, October 30, 2006

WWE Audition-tude


TV COMMERCIAL CASTING FOR WWE RAW FANS ON USA NETWORKReply to: job-223558742@craigslist.orgDate: 2006-10-20, 8:40PM Seeking Men and Women over the age of 18 who have white-collar jobs by day, but are DIE-HARD fans of WWE RAW by night! IF YOU ARE CHOSEN, YOU WILL BE COMPENSATED! $$$ O’Connor Casting Company, for the USA Network is looking for the World Wrestling Entertainment RAW “Superfan”. ARE YOU A BUSINESS PROFESSIONAL? MAYBE A LAWYER? A SOCCER MOM? A MINISTER OR RABBI? A LIBRARIAN? A HAIRSTYLIST? AN ACCOUNTANT? A SON THAT’S FOLLOWING IN HIS DAD’S WWE FOOTSTEPS? GOT A TON OF COLLECTIBLES? AN UNTOLD STORY? THEN WE WANNA HEAR FROM YOU! This isn’t about finding wannabe wrestlers or your average RAW addict, we want the most unique WWE diehards who defy the perception of what makes a WWE fan. READ BELOW AND CALL US ABOUT THE “USA WWE RAW PROJECT” Contact O’Connor Casting Company at 312-226-9112 or email usa@oconnorcasting.tv AUDITION DATE: Friday, October 27th & Monday, October 30th SHOOT LOCATION&DATE: Beginning of December in Los Angeles, CA AUDITION LOC.: O’Connor Casting Company 1017 W. Washington, Suite 2a, Chicago, IL 60607 WE NEED TO SCHEDULE YOUR AUDITION TIME SO PLEASE CALL QUICKLY!! If you fit this description or know someone who does, please contact us ASAP to schedule an audition. O’Connor Casting Company, 1017 W. Washington, Ste. 2A, Chicago, IL 60607 Phone: 312.226.9112
I answered this ad, and the audition was fun. To add Cred, I took some pics of my brother's collection. Like my mom says, "You got to use what you got to get what you want". I thought you guys would like to see how a Wrestlemaniac lives. The first is about a third of my brother's wrestling video collection.

The second is a fraction--a FRACTION of his toy collection. We'll see if my interview nets me a trip to LA. Deanna Moffitt gets a finders fee if it does...

Through the tears come the Flag.

The following is from Carlini's Comments, a column in the ePrairie tech newsletter. I have toured the 911 facility and it is amazing. Even the toilets are redundant so that they don't back up.
This is a scary glimpse at things though, because you can't keep the people from failing:

Even though Chicago has gone through some high visibility drills with evacuations of downtown, is it really prepared for an emergency, from a first responders' standpoint? The answer is yes when you talk to the leaders and spokespeople for emergency services, but has anyone talked to the people handling the phones? What are their confidence levels? Those are the people you would probably talk to first before seeing the rushing police officer or fireman because they're the key people who connect the victims with the help they need.
If you have never taken a tour of the 911 Center on Madison, you have missed a fine example of a municipal building. It was designed with a genuine passion for excellence from both the police and fire personnel assigned to plan it. Many people that have city jobs in other agencies would give their right arm to work inside of it today! It is definitely better than riding the back of a truck all day or standing in the middle of the street in humid, 90-plus days or freezing, 20 below-zero days directing traffic or writing parking tickets.
After reading a
Chicago 911 Dispatcher blog, I noticed some discussion of this workplace that I found alarming and in need of our attention:
We're back.And just in time for the 5th anniversary of 091101. Our hearts go out to those who lost family members on that day. And also to those who lost family members in the War For Oil perpetuated by the idiot of a "leader" this country has. We find it repugnant that George Bush is pimping the [predominantly] male youth of America in this farce he calls a "War on Terrorism." And we're still not ready. We'll never be ready - or "prepared" - for the next (note the lack of room for possibility that there won't be another) attack. Nothing in the world can ready the country - and particularly this city - for something so life-shattering. Chicago is not much closer to having preparations in place than it was on 10Sep01. But *shhhh* don't tell the public that. We'll just say this: The city has prepared us (its first-and-foremost emergency communications employees) so well for a potential terrorist attack that if (God forbid) downtown gets attacked, if buildings crumble, the cloud of dust you see won't be from the collapsing buildings; It'll be from our tennis shoes. There'll be so much rubber burning in the parking lot the grey concrete is going to look like tar.
Is this the type of person answering critical 911 Dispatch calls? Gives you a real level of comfort as you come in from the suburbs into Union Station and then ride the elevator every week-day to the 70th floor of the AON Building, the 88th Floor of the Sears Tower or the 65th floor of the John Hancock Building. All of these buildings would be within the top five downtown targets, but we can't forget all our buddies at the Chicago Merc and other prime places for terrorist attacks.
And what about all of you city residents living at Lake Point Towers or some of the other prominent high-rises? Being on the 47th Floor might not have been as fashionable as you first thought.
DO NOT JUDGE ALL OF THEM HARSHLY
There were follow-up comments to this shocking post. In fairness, they should be read as well:
Thru respect and honor said...It's sad and true that OEMC and this city are not completely prepared. Your post ("We're back") is a sad excuse. 911 then and now: Honor and dedication with God as keeper are for those who remain. Honorable true hero's brought us through 911. Police, Fire and many others along with citizens who gave their lives so that your Freedoms and your life may remain. "After the planes through the tears came the Flag." Dedication to this country and the flag for which it stands. Our footprints will be the ones you see for they will be leading the way and their direction is too and not away. God Bless each and everyone of you that served and are serving. God Bess America! What a sad posting on this very day. You claim your heart goes out and yet your comments of running away and the Sept. 10th typo shows you made light of those that actually sacrificed here and continue to do so abroad, oil and Bush? You thought more of running away and top posting the topic of dating Po's, then of genuinely honoring all the fallen. You have lost a blogger and any faith in your ability to remotely pave the way of any changes at OEMC. "Yes, Chicago Dispatchers blog, what a sad day it is in deed!"
WHERE ARE THE LEADERS OF THIS CENTER?
Evidently, there are some concerns going in this center and they are not being dealt with properly. As they say, where there is smoke, there is fire, and this BLOG definitely shows that there are a lot of issues going on about mismanagement that will affect the public, not only in a major disaster, but even a small one. Many people do not work in great conditions and have their little gripes, but the first quote from the blog looks a lot more ominous than a little gripe.
The hiring practices, as well as the leadership and supervisory roles for this center should be thoroughly reviewed and upgraded. With all of the underemployed people in Chicago looking for jobs, there is no room for people that don't take a serious job seriously or who create a bad work environment. They leave their colleagues, as well as the City, wide open for lawsuits. Even more alarming is that some would "cut and run" at a time when everyone would be counting on them to do what they are paid to do?
How would you like to have called a 911 Center and gotten a recorded message that said you were dialing an invalid number? This is a true story outside Chicago, where the victim died on the front lawn while family members tried to figure out why 911 wasn't working. By the time they called the non-emergency number, and an ambulance was dispatched, the victim had died.
Someone did not do their job in insuring the database included the victim's house's address, which is the way the phone call translates the calling party's number into a residence. The victim's family received a seven-figure sum for this person's carelessness on the job. Hopefully, he is not collecting a pension for his "hard work" on the job.
Chicago: this is my call for the city to clean that center up. It, and the people of the metropolitan area, deserve better.
CARLINI-ISM: If you don't like your job. Leave. Someone else can probably do a lot better.
Copyright 2006 James Carlini


I think Carlini is a blowhard, but I found this article interesting.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Wow. I've already been at this over a year.

My first post was 8/3/05. Can you believe it? I can't.
We've had some good times, you and I. And some good tomes.

what a day.

And it's only 9:34.
I woke up usual time, 5:50, and fought off sleep until 6 when I got in the shower. I had just finished primping when the baby woke up and my wife said, "Zach get in here; I need your help right now!"
Now, the CIO where I work is wont to say that something "shit the bed" when it breaks. For example, "You don't want to be the one paged when that server shits the bed". I realize now what a great analogy that is.
Miette's diahrrea left her diaper and was everywhere but her face. When I walked in the room, Kiki was holding both her hands to keep her from rubbing her eyes.
We got her out of her clothes, and I grabbed her and turned on the shower. There was no time for a bath. Miette is fascinated by the shower, but mildly terrified of it, and she clung to me like a baby ape in a nature show as I washed her off. Kiki stripped the bed and wiped it down, and when we got out of the shower, I handed Miette off and loaded eveything but the baby into the washer. We worked hard and fast to get it all done, and we did. I missed breakfast, though.

Speaking of eggs, Once I got downtown, I treated myself to the cadillac of breakfast sandwiches; the Sausage McGriddle. If you haven't tried one, it's your loss. Once I was near Jason Chin when someone asked him if McGriddles were any good. He replied simply, "They're wonderful." in a tone that sounded like someone had asked him if orgasms were any good.
I couldn't agree more.

accidente

So last Tuesday I was driving to work (cause I had CSz rehearsal). A lady pulled right out in front of me. I laid on the brakes and horn, but it was raining so my front passenger corner hit her rear door on the drivers side.
We were back on the road in about 20 minutes after filling out a police report. She admitted fault, and was cited by the cop who was trying to hide his visible shivers from the cold air.
Friday, her insurance company accepted all the blame and Monday I dropped off the car in exchange for a rental. A dodge neon. I guess the lebaron's of the world are reserved for cartoons (See Tom Goes to the Mayor, The Michael Ian Black episode.)
I emptied my car out completely going on my paradigm of the car being gone for 2 weeks for body work. Yesterday they called any it was ready. I went to pick it up last night. It is like a new car.
This is my official endorsement of Collision Revision. I know so very few of the 5 of you that read this will ever need a body shop, but these guys were great. Monday when I dropped off the car, I added the challenge of them examining the brakes and the starter. I figured that I might as well get them fixed while the car was out of commission. Here they did it all a day early, and loaded my console with buttermints! They even armor-all-ed the tires. Ice-T would be proud.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Since no one commented about it...

Here's what Advertising thinks makes a man:

Printed from ChicagoBusiness.com
She knows her men
By Julie Jargon
Oct. 16, 2006A white-haired man struggling with an armful of file folders scoots past Rose Cameron, rushing to make his train. Ms. Cameron guesses the man is a lawyer hurrying home to see his family. "He would be staying here all night working on that stuff if he was just a power seeker, but he wants to be at home with someone," she says. "He's definitely a patriarch."Ms. Cameron's diagnosis is no parlor trick. As the "man expert" at ad agency Leo Burnett Worldwide Inc., her job is to understand males — and how to market to them.She is the author of an extensive worldwide study that is changing the way companies like McDonald's Corp. market to men. The study, in which Ms. Cameron and her colleagues interviewed 2,000 men from Saudi Arabia to Shanghai, divided men into four categories: patriarchs, power seekers, metrosexuals and retrosexuals. Presented last year at an advertising conference in France, the study created a stir as the first of its kind to suggest that male consumers can be as nuanced and diverse as women. It also found that 74% of men feel that images of their gender in advertising are out of touch with reality, portraying them either as boorish frat boys or hapless dolts."I think they're on to something," Tim Calkins, a marketing professor at Northwestern University's Kellogg School of Management, says of Ms. Cameron's work. "You're starting to see marketing to men changing."Ms. Cameron's study reached the surprising conclusion that patriarchs — men who say being a good father and partner is the true measure of a man — make up the largest group of male consumers.That's a powerful point for McDonald's, Ms. Cameron's biggest client. She has used her insights to help the Oak Brook-based burger giant craft a commercial featuring patriarchs. The "Dads making dinner" spot, which began airing in June, shows kids from various countries running to find a sibling and telling them something urgent in their native tongue. English-speaking viewers finally understand when an American kid, breathless from running, tells his brother, "Dad's making dinner." The commercial ends with shots of dads bringing home McDonald's."The idea of dads as heroes has been part of our brand for 50 years, but the way we tell it in this ad is very modern," says Matt Biespiel, McDonald's senior director of global brand development.Mr. Biespiel says the chain also has been studying Ms. Cameron's findings on power seekers — men who define their success by their careers and constantly seek new life experiences. "It's something we're intrigued by," he says.Ms. Cameron, 37, trumpets her insights with an effusive zeal and the accent of her childhood home in Scotland. Conversations tend to become monologues, punctuated by vigorous gesticulations.Mr. Biespiel recalls a video the two collaborated on that explained the new commercial to McDonald's marketing execs."It was supposed to be my 15 minutes of fame," he says. "Fifteen minutes later, Rose was still talking."At Union Station, Ms. Cameron spots a power seeker, a thirtysomething dressed in a well-fitting dark suit, holding a black cell phone to his ear. He signals he's smart and successful, she says, with a newspaper sticking out of a black leather briefcase. Later, she nods to another fast walker; he's in a dark suit, blue shirt and metallic-green tie. "You can smell a man who goes to Nordstrom and uses a personal shopper," she says. Power seekers, she explains, often hire someone to dress them.Ms. Cameron, who favors loose-fitting black outfits augmented by colorful jackets or wraps, took a while to settle into her specialty.
After brief stints at other agencies, she landed at Leo Burnett in October 2004.A few months later the agency, which conducts an annual research project, tapped Ms. Cameron to design its man study. As she threw herself into it, her most important male relationship was falling apart. Her five-year marriage ended in divorce about the time the man study wrapped up — an irony not lost on her."I felt like I was seeing my personal life in a focus group and I was in the back of the room watching it," says Ms. Cameron.There are no metrosexuals in the train station on this cloudy October day. "Where are all the pretty boys?" Ms. Cameron asks, even though she knows the answer: Despite the media hype a couple of years ago over these sensitive urban types, who pay careful attention to grooming and like to cook, there just aren't that many of them.Marketers appear to be catching on. United Airlines is running an animated commercial featuring a man who tucks his son into bed before he heads off on a trip. An American Airlines commercial shows a dad who calls his daughter during business trips. Even ads for Miller Genuine Draft took a less adolescent turn earlier this year with an ad campaign featuring the tagline, "Beer, grown up."Though none of those companies is a Leo Burnett client, the ads reflect a similar rethinking of the male consumer."We have been noticing over the last couple of years that the way men were being spoken to wasn't reflective of men," says a Miller spokesman. "Men in beer commercials for 15 years have been portrayed as buffoons."
Which man are You?
PATRIARCH 37%
• Family is your priority. You always feel torn between the time you spend at work and at home.• It's really important to you that you are there for your partner, sharing equally in parenting duties.• The majority of your most fulfilling moments are ones that you spend with your family — at games, on trips, or just sitting around the table.• The legacy you leave the world is embodied in your family.
Metro 24%
• You have a strong aesthetic sense. People are always commenting on your attention to style and grooming, considering you "ahead of the pack."• You don't have issues experimenting with a variety of haircare and skincare products. You may even think shaving is a fashion statement.• Girlfriends have often told you that you are the most understanding guy they've ever dated.• You cook a pretty mean paella or any other complicated dish.
Power Seeker 23%
• You are your own man.• An explorer, you are constantly searching for ways to define yourself and excel in life.• Personal performance is of paramount importance to you, whether in work, travel or play.• You have a list of explicit goals in life.• Excelling at these achievements will show the world you were here.
Retro 16%
• You don't "talk through" problems. You deal with them.• You prize above all else a solid group of guy friends who are bound together by loyalty.• You have absolutely no interest in cooking or cleaning.• No one woman will ever be as important to you as your friends.
Ms. Cameron's research is far from over. She dedicates at least two hours a week to reading the latest research on men and helps other Leo Burnett executives design more focused studies, like the one the agency's Puerto Rico office is doing on Caribbean patriarchs. And she can never just walk down the street without assessing men.At Union Station, a man with a buzz cut stiffly walks past, his arms immobile at his sides, a scowl on his face. "Retros often look angry or disappointed, usually because their rightful place has been usurped by a woman," she says. The man shoots Ms. Cameron a nasty glare, but she doesn't flinch."I love men," she says, looking around. "I really love men."©2006 by Crain Communications Inc.

If you go to the article, you'll see that she loves men so much that she goes out of her way to look like one... SNAP!

Anyhoo, I'm a Patriarch. That's pretty clear. However, I have yet to see many ads that are clearly aimed at me. I will say that if I purported to be making dinner and came home with McDonalds, my wife would give me the frying pan (to the head). More about the metrosexual being dead though; interesting. I think it's more likely that while these generalizations are just that. Most men are blends of the 4.

For the record, my least favorite ad is the one where the guy base jumps in a suit and then drives away in an isuzu or something. That might be the stupidedst ad ever.

How bout doze bears?

Friday, October 06, 2006

Read it and Weep, SUCKAS!


Looks like all those years of watching wrestling finally paid off.
Maybe I can ebay the Grill and make some of the mad cash I spent Wrestlemania weekend back...

I know the pic is pretty illegible, but I'm pretty surprised they're asking wrestling fans to get something notarized.

It's almost November

Time to decide between the pagefucking warmongers and the self-righteous pussies.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

I got new rides

Coming to a stage near you...

Ebay... 'cause paying full price is for sucks. (TM)

Maybe Al Gore's right...

How 'bout this weather, am I right?
Seriously, how many "Hundred years' rain"-s can we have in a few years?
Also, do any of you remember having to play inside during the summer because it was dangerously hot?
We were fucking deluged Monday. My parents had to stay at my house last night because their power's out. It's not projected to come back 'til Thursday, so we'll be having another sleepover tonight.
I think they lost $300 in Good Humor alone. Lord only knows what they lost in spoilt meat.
I had to get up and clean my gutters last night. The water was coming down in a sheet. I have no idea how we didn't get flooding.
Lots of steam to burn off this weekend. Let's have some fun, huh?

The Final Chapter, but not without its obstacles...

We refinanced and took the mortgage away from Option One (Criminals) yesterday. We were set to go at 2, but my bank, which I trust implicitly, fucked up and didn't send all the paperwork. So, we had to wait 'til 4 'til it all got straightened out.
Whatever. It's done. But still, I got white man's problems.

Monday, October 02, 2006

OLD SKOOL!

Sorry, 'taker fans, this is about the rental truck I had to drive for my sis this weekend. People, thins thing was from 1970 if it was from anytime. It was old as hell, and it was a 26-foot international harvester truck with a manual trans; hence me driving it.
Now, Fans of this blog remember that I totally marked out about getting to drive the totally modern truck when I moved. This was something else. It had crank windows and an AM radio only, and the clutch was about 18" off the floor. My quad was aching by the time we got to their apartment. There was about 12 inches of play in the stick, and the steering wheel was huge and parallel with the ground like that of a bus. You had to go up to 5th gear just to get to 35 mph. Forget talking on your cell while driving. It was too goddamn loud!
Weeee-Hooo!
The move itself was pretty harrowing... 10 years of accumulation, and my sister and her girlfriend's first move. Let's just say we had more to do than time allowed and leave it at that, shall we?
Had some great shows this weekend, and some not-so-great ones. It allways happens where when I'm feeling really great about a show that I get checked back into place to humble me.
This weekend is Lisle's homecoming. I hope to take Miette to the parade.
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