Courtesy of the Daily Vidette....

ISU's Newspaper. This actually ran in the paper. You can see why I kept it.

We'll be in the new space within 2 months!

My first earthquake

So, I'm in San Francisco for work. I experienced my first earthquake between 4-5 this am. It felt like someone was shaking the bed. Which startled me. Then I was like, "oh, it's an eathquake". Then I was like, "FUCK! IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE!". Then I had nightmares about earthquakes until I awoke to what I thought was church bells. So, I opened the balcony door (that's right, motherfuckers), not remembering there being a church in the financial district of sf and was greeted by street noise. I got ready and opened the room door to discover that the sound was some guy's travel alarm next door. Loud. Loud enough to fill the hallway with that bell racket.
I went down to have Le Meridien's griddlecakes, which fans of this blog will remember are the best in the world.
I had to crap, so I went back to the room and discovered the alarm STILL going off. So, Dick that I am, I quietly closed my door upon leaving, pounded on the door next door, and leapt into the emergency exit stairway.
On my way down, I recalled hearing some banging like someone at my door last night, and my griddlecake-addled brain went all CSI. I imagined the guy next door being incapacitated or killed by whomever was doing the banging, and reported the alarm going of for 90 minutes to the desk and asked that they do a well being check. I'll let you know if anything comes of it. Odds are, the dude was just exhausted and I heard earthquake sounds.

Here's the pic...

...that was supposed to go with the post Bahamama

IN PRAISE OF THE HIGH LIFE
Before the HK, we met for beers at TJ McGinty's on North Ave. by Second city. I was convinced that that was a fake bar name, but it's an actual place. Anyway, I ordered a High Life in a bottle, and the bottle came out caked in ice. It was about 90 degrees in the bar, and it totally hit the spot. If you've never had High Life, you are missing out. It's a truly great beer, and at $9.99 for a 30 pack of cans, a great price.

I don't often get involved in local clown politics, but...

For the last several years, we've spent the 4th of July in Ludington, Michigan. It's a great town and they put on a great parade and fireworks show. I have held my tongue on the clown politics heretofore, but I could not help myself this past weekend.
One of the stalwarts of the Ludington 4th of July parade had been Honkey the clown. I though this was funny merely because of the name. I mean, imagine a clown named Spook and the implications that would foster...
Anyway, Honkey's gimmick was a comically-oversized camera made of a suitcase. He'd pretend to take a picture of you, and then pull out an 8 x 10 of an ape. His gimmick in no way involved horns or a honking nose that would warrant such a name.
2 years ago, following the parade, some area teens squirted Honkey with water and when he objected, they beat the living shit out of him, breaking his camera and mis-shaping his size 15 clown shoes in the altercation. How do I know all this? Honkey wrote a letter to the Ludington Daily news telling his story and then saying that he didn't want to be a part of a parade in a community where something like that could happen. Effectively tendering his resignation as a community institution. No word on if the teens were white supremacists. I wish to god I had a copy of the letter in the paper. This is all true.
I found this out during last years parade. My response: Honkey's a Pussy.
Flash forward to this year. I arrive in Ludington and receive a screen-printed "Honkey's a Pussy T-shirt" for myself, My wife, and our daughter. I actually had to be reminded of the story, as I'd forgotten. I was then forbidden from wearing said shirt to the parade by my host. I complied, but since a T-shirt had been made, I had to Yes, And.
I sharpied "Honkey's a Pussy" on my belly.
There are photos of me with Dynomite the clown (Honkey's archenemy) holding my shirt up showing the message. I also have photos of me in front of a Mannequin Jesus holding my shirt up. Good times were had by one and all. Honkey is a Pussy. True performers (Patriots) know the show must go on.