No Comment
I realized after my last post that part of what I want to do here is post things that I think of so that I have a public record of them. That way, I can point to this when I see them elsewhere sometime. At least 2 funny things I thought of long ago appeared in the Family Guy episode 2 weeks ago (The Lois becomes a model one). You know what that makes me? Unoriginal.
I've also been thinking of what I'd say, given the opportunity. Here's my favorite example of choking on a fabulous opportunity to say something. On an episode of WWE sanctions! A couple years back, a wrestler named A-Train came down to the ring to guest comment on a match featuring Chris Benoit, his opponent in the upcoming Pay-Per-View. The regular announcers were discussing Benoit's style, and they asked Albert what his strategy would be in their match. His Response? "No Comment." In a business where at least half of your success is determined by what you say on the mic, that was his response. I've seldom been so pissed at a wrestler. (I'm a huge wrestling fan, surprise...)*
Here's a guy, 6'9", 300+ pounds, and bald but hairier than George "The Animal" Steele. Lots of gifts, but not enough to make him great. He's twice Benoit's size. If I were in the same position, I'd have said "I eat Benoit's bodyweight in a sitting at Sizzler. If all else fails, I'll hit him hard enough to get him to stop moving, and I'll eat him."
A-train was released by the WWE shortly thereafter.
*Those of you who know me know that I'm an Improviser in Chicago. You may also know that in my ComedySportz Bio it says (or SAID, since they butchered our bios down to the barest sterileist facts) , "Zach started Improvising after deeming Professional Wrestling training too expensive." This is 100% true. Windy City Wrestling charges $2500 for six weeks of training. Now, at 5'4" and 180 (god, what's happened to me?) pounds, I wasn't about to get in the ring and get pounded. I wanted to be a manager and announcer and they still wanted that kind of money. I think I'd make a great managet in the vein of Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. You know what that'd make me? Unoriginal.
I've also been thinking of what I'd say, given the opportunity. Here's my favorite example of choking on a fabulous opportunity to say something. On an episode of WWE sanctions! A couple years back, a wrestler named A-Train came down to the ring to guest comment on a match featuring Chris Benoit, his opponent in the upcoming Pay-Per-View. The regular announcers were discussing Benoit's style, and they asked Albert what his strategy would be in their match. His Response? "No Comment." In a business where at least half of your success is determined by what you say on the mic, that was his response. I've seldom been so pissed at a wrestler. (I'm a huge wrestling fan, surprise...)*
Here's a guy, 6'9", 300+ pounds, and bald but hairier than George "The Animal" Steele. Lots of gifts, but not enough to make him great. He's twice Benoit's size. If I were in the same position, I'd have said "I eat Benoit's bodyweight in a sitting at Sizzler. If all else fails, I'll hit him hard enough to get him to stop moving, and I'll eat him."
A-train was released by the WWE shortly thereafter.
*Those of you who know me know that I'm an Improviser in Chicago. You may also know that in my ComedySportz Bio it says (or SAID, since they butchered our bios down to the barest sterileist facts) , "Zach started Improvising after deeming Professional Wrestling training too expensive." This is 100% true. Windy City Wrestling charges $2500 for six weeks of training. Now, at 5'4" and 180 (god, what's happened to me?) pounds, I wasn't about to get in the ring and get pounded. I wanted to be a manager and announcer and they still wanted that kind of money. I think I'd make a great managet in the vein of Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. You know what that'd make me? Unoriginal.
posted by Zach at 11:13 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home