Wrestlemania Wrecap
What a weekend! After we got past the WWE's crappy planning that turned my brother back from 3 autograph signings, and me from the press conference, things heated up quick.
A word on the press conference. WWE rented the Chicago theater that seats 3500+ and 1800+ on the main floor. They only opened the LOBBY for the public, so you can see why hundreds (including my brother Sam who waited 2 hours in line) got turned away. Total bullshit. I wish they'd at least say how many they'd accommodate per event.
Friday as I talked to my brother after he was turned away from some event, and I idly searched for--and found--2 tickets to the previously sold out Hall of Fame ceremony. We were elated. The HOF ceremony is business dress, so we both wore suits. My brother wore a black suit and black tie with a pink shirt in honor of the main-event honoree Bret Hart, the "Pink & Black Attack". I wore my '80s wwf-announcer tie I scored on eBay and a tweed suit. People ran the gamut between t-shirts and tuxes, but most people, including the Ricky Gervais twin that sat next to us wore suits. By twin I mean twin. I stared at that dude, and was fairly certain it WAS Ricky Gervais. It wasn't. Hall of fame inductees included the Blackjacks (Inducted by a personal hero, Bobby "The Brain" Heenan, Verne Gagne, Tony Atlas, Sensational (Scary) Sherri Martel (who stole the show), William the Refrigerator Perry.
The Fridge was an inductee to the Celebrity wing… The WWE champ John Cena inducted him and was booed so loudly that you couldn't hear his induction speech. I know he's unpopular but Chicago hated him all weekend. They were relentless. His speech was actually funny and well done. It was a spoof of the NFL Films voiceovers. On a sidenote, back in '85 my mom actually thought Perry's given name was "The Refrigerator" because "you know how THEIR names can be". You can take the girl out of Indiana, but you can't take the Indiana out of the girl…
Mean Gene Okerlund inducted by none other than the Immortal Hulk Hogan, Eddie Guerrero inducted by Rey Misterio, Jr, Chavo Guerrero, and Chris Benoit, and Bret Hart inducted by the nearly-immortal Stone Cold Steve Austin. Bret spoke for nearly an hour and it was awesome. It was like a commercial for a book that I hope he writes someday. Eddie's induction was not nearly as emotional as I thought it'd be. Kiki and I both wept when they eulogized him on TV. I did tear up when his widow told him she missed him. I missed him.
Saturday morning was something I'll never do again, given the opportunity- The Bacon, Bagels and Biceps brunch (of which I only partook in the bacon). This was billed only as a "brunch with the superstars". It was not. My understanding was that they'd have very few people (like 200) and a superstar at every table. Instead, there were 2000 people and 8 "superstars" seated at the head table. The superstars there included Tyson Tomko (fired from the wwe 2 days later), Trevor Murdoch (one of my favorites, but not an established star), Maria, Sensational Sherri, Road Warrior Animal (The biggest star there), Rob Conway, Orlando Jordan, Mr. Kennedy, and Jamie Noble. It was hosted by Joey Styles and Josh Matthews (an interviewer that sounds like his mouth is full of malted milk balls). Hardly a brunch with the superstars. The food was standard continental breakfast fare, and we DID get a free old-skool 2-bells alarm clock with the wrestlemania logo (big time was the theme). The question and answer was fun, because they were mostly out of character except Murdoch, who was humorously over the top bad guy. Regardless, the event cost $125, and was not nearly worth that.
Wrestlemania!
Wrestlemania delivered from cradle to grave. There was a bonus 12-man over the top battle royal to open with no big names. Animal botched the finish and lost, though I'm pretty sure he was meant to win. The pyrotechnics were unbelievable and the set was made to look like the Sears Tower. Our seats were fantastic in the 100-level opposite the entrance ramp and off to the side.
Next up was the tag titles retained by Kane and the Big show. Nothing spectacular. Maybe that's why they lost them the next night…
Next up was the Ladder match. Sensational. 6 of the most talented athletes in the WWE. Ric flat took 2 major bumps of the top of a ladder, Shelton Benjamin sprang off the top rope and landed perfectly onto a ladder, and RVD won the match guaranteeing himself a world title match at a later date.
Then came the Chris Benoit match where he lost his US title to JBL. Disappointing. I hope they find a good program for Benoit. He's amazing.
Then came the Edge v. Mick Foley hardcore match involving chairs, thumbtacks, barbed wire-covered bats and a flaming table. Decent spectacle, but I hate Edge so much. Not Hate because he incenses me like a good bad guy should, but hate because he's so boring. Plus, they were out-hardcored by Shawn Michaels later in the evening.
Undertaker V. Mark Henry casket match… Pretty standard from both men. The undertaker took a flying leap over the top rope… His entrance had torches and guys in druid robes and was unbelievable. I don't think anybody in the world thought Mark Henry would win, and he didn't.
Shawn Michaels v. Vince McMahon (with Shane McMahon and all 5 members of the Spirit Squad). Bear in mind that this was a match between a 40-year old and a 60-year old. It was among the best matches of the night. It was bloody, Shawn beat down the chairman, his son and 5 other guys before stuffing Vince in a garbage can, onto a table, pulling out a ladder, climbing it, then getting and EVEN Taller ladder and delivering an elbow drop from the ladder onto McMahon in the Garbage can through the table. Whew. A Highspot indeed. McMahon flipped the crowd off as he was taken away on a stretcher.
BookerT and his wife v. the Boogeyman. The boogeyman is indeed the boogeyman. He comes out bathed in smoke all painted up and eats worms. He beat a fantastic wrestler who previously held the world title 5 times. Disgraceful.
Womens Championship Match: Trish Stratus (champ) v. Mickie James (psycho). Chicago puzzled the crap out of the WWE in this one getting CRAZILY behind the challenger (a villain) and hating on the champ. The ending sequence of the match is as follows. Trish had Mickie in a headlock. To get out of said headlock, Mickie grabbed Trish by the crotch. No shit. Stunned Trish dropped the headlock and backed away. Mickie then spread her fingers into a V and licked them. On TV. She then knocked Trish down, got a huge ovation from the crowd, and botched the finishing move. She was met by a chant of "You Fucked Up"…Chicago was relentless… and hit another finish VERY WEAKLY to win the title. Grabbed her crotch and licked her fingers…. I later dubbed this the Cameltoe Clutch ™.
Next was Randy Orton v. Rey Misterio v. Kurt Angle for the Smackdown title. This was a great match put on by three amazing athletes. Angle suplexed both other men at the same time. It was insane. To finish, Rey hit some crazy hurricanrana on Orton and pinned him, causing Kurt to lose his title without getting pinned. Good match, but Rey's 5'3" and 160 Lbs, not much of a heavyweight champ.
Playboy Pillowfight match. Torrie defeated Candace in a match surprisingly nobody cared about. Maybe all the sex came from the crotch grab/finger lick.
World Title Match, HHH v. John Cena (champ). Somehow I knew Cena would win this. I still can't believe how it happened. Both men had terribly elaborate entrances. HHH was raised out of the floor on a throne accompanied by a new video. He came to the ring in a conan the barbarian getup including a crown and chestpiece. Cena had a chicago-gangster themed video and came to the top of the ramp in a trench coat and fedora and fired off a few rounds from a tommy gun into the air. Shit, he could have given everybody herpes for the reaction he got. Chicago hated on him supper bad. I don't know how (or if) they edited the "Fuck You Cena" chants off TV. They hated him so much that they'd boo if he hit HHH. When they exchanged punches, the crowd literally went "Boo!" "Yay!" "Boo!" "Yay!" "Boo!" "Yay!". It was surreal. They were into every move with full volume. I'd never been part of anything like that before. Cena retained, but unbelievably by getting HHH to TAP OUT to his finisher.
One HELL of a night. Cena left with his title intact to a chorus of boos.
Monday night Raw was the next night. It was also amazing. I made a "Trish Fears the CAMELTOE CLUTCH" sign that said "I paid to $ee Murdoch" on the reverse. Murdoch was featured in the taping and pointed at me and my sign. The sign also drew disgusted looks from Trish Stratus several times. Hey, they put it on TV, I just gave it a name. They debuted a new character in Chicago. This samoan guy beat down Ric Flar to ZERO crowd response. Cheers and boos mean the crowd cares. Silence means they don't. People should have hated this guy right away, but nobody cared.
Still, a blast of a weekend. Some guy even took my sign that I'd intended on leaving there.
A word on the press conference. WWE rented the Chicago theater that seats 3500+ and 1800+ on the main floor. They only opened the LOBBY for the public, so you can see why hundreds (including my brother Sam who waited 2 hours in line) got turned away. Total bullshit. I wish they'd at least say how many they'd accommodate per event.
Friday as I talked to my brother after he was turned away from some event, and I idly searched for--and found--2 tickets to the previously sold out Hall of Fame ceremony. We were elated. The HOF ceremony is business dress, so we both wore suits. My brother wore a black suit and black tie with a pink shirt in honor of the main-event honoree Bret Hart, the "Pink & Black Attack". I wore my '80s wwf-announcer tie I scored on eBay and a tweed suit. People ran the gamut between t-shirts and tuxes, but most people, including the Ricky Gervais twin that sat next to us wore suits. By twin I mean twin. I stared at that dude, and was fairly certain it WAS Ricky Gervais. It wasn't. Hall of fame inductees included the Blackjacks (Inducted by a personal hero, Bobby "The Brain" Heenan, Verne Gagne, Tony Atlas, Sensational (Scary) Sherri Martel (who stole the show), William the Refrigerator Perry.
The Fridge was an inductee to the Celebrity wing… The WWE champ John Cena inducted him and was booed so loudly that you couldn't hear his induction speech. I know he's unpopular but Chicago hated him all weekend. They were relentless. His speech was actually funny and well done. It was a spoof of the NFL Films voiceovers. On a sidenote, back in '85 my mom actually thought Perry's given name was "The Refrigerator" because "you know how THEIR names can be". You can take the girl out of Indiana, but you can't take the Indiana out of the girl…
Mean Gene Okerlund inducted by none other than the Immortal Hulk Hogan, Eddie Guerrero inducted by Rey Misterio, Jr, Chavo Guerrero, and Chris Benoit, and Bret Hart inducted by the nearly-immortal Stone Cold Steve Austin. Bret spoke for nearly an hour and it was awesome. It was like a commercial for a book that I hope he writes someday. Eddie's induction was not nearly as emotional as I thought it'd be. Kiki and I both wept when they eulogized him on TV. I did tear up when his widow told him she missed him. I missed him.
Saturday morning was something I'll never do again, given the opportunity- The Bacon, Bagels and Biceps brunch (of which I only partook in the bacon). This was billed only as a "brunch with the superstars". It was not. My understanding was that they'd have very few people (like 200) and a superstar at every table. Instead, there were 2000 people and 8 "superstars" seated at the head table. The superstars there included Tyson Tomko (fired from the wwe 2 days later), Trevor Murdoch (one of my favorites, but not an established star), Maria, Sensational Sherri, Road Warrior Animal (The biggest star there), Rob Conway, Orlando Jordan, Mr. Kennedy, and Jamie Noble. It was hosted by Joey Styles and Josh Matthews (an interviewer that sounds like his mouth is full of malted milk balls). Hardly a brunch with the superstars. The food was standard continental breakfast fare, and we DID get a free old-skool 2-bells alarm clock with the wrestlemania logo (big time was the theme). The question and answer was fun, because they were mostly out of character except Murdoch, who was humorously over the top bad guy. Regardless, the event cost $125, and was not nearly worth that.
Wrestlemania!
Wrestlemania delivered from cradle to grave. There was a bonus 12-man over the top battle royal to open with no big names. Animal botched the finish and lost, though I'm pretty sure he was meant to win. The pyrotechnics were unbelievable and the set was made to look like the Sears Tower. Our seats were fantastic in the 100-level opposite the entrance ramp and off to the side.
Next up was the tag titles retained by Kane and the Big show. Nothing spectacular. Maybe that's why they lost them the next night…
Next up was the Ladder match. Sensational. 6 of the most talented athletes in the WWE. Ric flat took 2 major bumps of the top of a ladder, Shelton Benjamin sprang off the top rope and landed perfectly onto a ladder, and RVD won the match guaranteeing himself a world title match at a later date.
Then came the Chris Benoit match where he lost his US title to JBL. Disappointing. I hope they find a good program for Benoit. He's amazing.
Then came the Edge v. Mick Foley hardcore match involving chairs, thumbtacks, barbed wire-covered bats and a flaming table. Decent spectacle, but I hate Edge so much. Not Hate because he incenses me like a good bad guy should, but hate because he's so boring. Plus, they were out-hardcored by Shawn Michaels later in the evening.
Undertaker V. Mark Henry casket match… Pretty standard from both men. The undertaker took a flying leap over the top rope… His entrance had torches and guys in druid robes and was unbelievable. I don't think anybody in the world thought Mark Henry would win, and he didn't.
Shawn Michaels v. Vince McMahon (with Shane McMahon and all 5 members of the Spirit Squad). Bear in mind that this was a match between a 40-year old and a 60-year old. It was among the best matches of the night. It was bloody, Shawn beat down the chairman, his son and 5 other guys before stuffing Vince in a garbage can, onto a table, pulling out a ladder, climbing it, then getting and EVEN Taller ladder and delivering an elbow drop from the ladder onto McMahon in the Garbage can through the table. Whew. A Highspot indeed. McMahon flipped the crowd off as he was taken away on a stretcher.
BookerT and his wife v. the Boogeyman. The boogeyman is indeed the boogeyman. He comes out bathed in smoke all painted up and eats worms. He beat a fantastic wrestler who previously held the world title 5 times. Disgraceful.
Womens Championship Match: Trish Stratus (champ) v. Mickie James (psycho). Chicago puzzled the crap out of the WWE in this one getting CRAZILY behind the challenger (a villain) and hating on the champ. The ending sequence of the match is as follows. Trish had Mickie in a headlock. To get out of said headlock, Mickie grabbed Trish by the crotch. No shit. Stunned Trish dropped the headlock and backed away. Mickie then spread her fingers into a V and licked them. On TV. She then knocked Trish down, got a huge ovation from the crowd, and botched the finishing move. She was met by a chant of "You Fucked Up"…Chicago was relentless… and hit another finish VERY WEAKLY to win the title. Grabbed her crotch and licked her fingers…. I later dubbed this the Cameltoe Clutch ™.
Next was Randy Orton v. Rey Misterio v. Kurt Angle for the Smackdown title. This was a great match put on by three amazing athletes. Angle suplexed both other men at the same time. It was insane. To finish, Rey hit some crazy hurricanrana on Orton and pinned him, causing Kurt to lose his title without getting pinned. Good match, but Rey's 5'3" and 160 Lbs, not much of a heavyweight champ.
Playboy Pillowfight match. Torrie defeated Candace in a match surprisingly nobody cared about. Maybe all the sex came from the crotch grab/finger lick.
World Title Match, HHH v. John Cena (champ). Somehow I knew Cena would win this. I still can't believe how it happened. Both men had terribly elaborate entrances. HHH was raised out of the floor on a throne accompanied by a new video. He came to the ring in a conan the barbarian getup including a crown and chestpiece. Cena had a chicago-gangster themed video and came to the top of the ramp in a trench coat and fedora and fired off a few rounds from a tommy gun into the air. Shit, he could have given everybody herpes for the reaction he got. Chicago hated on him supper bad. I don't know how (or if) they edited the "Fuck You Cena" chants off TV. They hated him so much that they'd boo if he hit HHH. When they exchanged punches, the crowd literally went "Boo!" "Yay!" "Boo!" "Yay!" "Boo!" "Yay!". It was surreal. They were into every move with full volume. I'd never been part of anything like that before. Cena retained, but unbelievably by getting HHH to TAP OUT to his finisher.
One HELL of a night. Cena left with his title intact to a chorus of boos.
Monday night Raw was the next night. It was also amazing. I made a "Trish Fears the CAMELTOE CLUTCH" sign that said "I paid to $ee Murdoch" on the reverse. Murdoch was featured in the taping and pointed at me and my sign. The sign also drew disgusted looks from Trish Stratus several times. Hey, they put it on TV, I just gave it a name. They debuted a new character in Chicago. This samoan guy beat down Ric Flar to ZERO crowd response. Cheers and boos mean the crowd cares. Silence means they don't. People should have hated this guy right away, but nobody cared.
Still, a blast of a weekend. Some guy even took my sign that I'd intended on leaving there.
posted by Zach at 4:38 PM
2 Comments:
Sounds like an awesome weekend, I guess when they come back again in 10 years I'll have to try harder to get tix. Not mentioning the awesomeness of Carlito though... that ain't cool.
Carlito is fittin' to break out. I could have watched him and flair feud forever.
He is the awesomeness. Not excited about watching him feud with that shiny lump of shit Masters, though.
Post a Comment
<< Home