I don't often get involved in local clown politics, but...
For the last several years, we've spent the 4th of July in Ludington, Michigan. It's a great town and they put on a great parade and fireworks show. I have held my tongue on the clown politics heretofore, but I could not help myself this past weekend.
One of the stalwarts of the Ludington 4th of July parade had been Honkey the clown. I though this was funny merely because of the name. I mean, imagine a clown named Spook and the implications that would foster...
Anyway, Honkey's gimmick was a comically-oversized camera made of a suitcase. He'd pretend to take a picture of you, and then pull out an 8 x 10 of an ape. His gimmick in no way involved horns or a honking nose that would warrant such a name.
2 years ago, following the parade, some area teens squirted Honkey with water and when he objected, they beat the living shit out of him, breaking his camera and mis-shaping his size 15 clown shoes in the altercation. How do I know all this? Honkey wrote a letter to the Ludington Daily news telling his story and then saying that he didn't want to be a part of a parade in a community where something like that could happen. Effectively tendering his resignation as a community institution. No word on if the teens were white supremacists. I wish to god I had a copy of the letter in the paper. This is all true.
I found this out during last years parade. My response: Honkey's a Pussy.
Flash forward to this year. I arrive in Ludington and receive a screen-printed "Honkey's a Pussy T-shirt" for myself, My wife, and our daughter. I actually had to be reminded of the story, as I'd forgotten. I was then forbidden from wearing said shirt to the parade by my host. I complied, but since a T-shirt had been made, I had to Yes, And.
I sharpied "Honkey's a Pussy" on my belly.
There are photos of me with Dynomite the clown (Honkey's archenemy) holding my shirt up showing the message. I also have photos of me in front of a Mannequin Jesus holding my shirt up. Good times were had by one and all. Honkey is a Pussy. True performers (Patriots) know the show must go on.
One of the stalwarts of the Ludington 4th of July parade had been Honkey the clown. I though this was funny merely because of the name. I mean, imagine a clown named Spook and the implications that would foster...
Anyway, Honkey's gimmick was a comically-oversized camera made of a suitcase. He'd pretend to take a picture of you, and then pull out an 8 x 10 of an ape. His gimmick in no way involved horns or a honking nose that would warrant such a name.
2 years ago, following the parade, some area teens squirted Honkey with water and when he objected, they beat the living shit out of him, breaking his camera and mis-shaping his size 15 clown shoes in the altercation. How do I know all this? Honkey wrote a letter to the Ludington Daily news telling his story and then saying that he didn't want to be a part of a parade in a community where something like that could happen. Effectively tendering his resignation as a community institution. No word on if the teens were white supremacists. I wish to god I had a copy of the letter in the paper. This is all true.
I found this out during last years parade. My response: Honkey's a Pussy.
Flash forward to this year. I arrive in Ludington and receive a screen-printed "Honkey's a Pussy T-shirt" for myself, My wife, and our daughter. I actually had to be reminded of the story, as I'd forgotten. I was then forbidden from wearing said shirt to the parade by my host. I complied, but since a T-shirt had been made, I had to Yes, And.
I sharpied "Honkey's a Pussy" on my belly.
There are photos of me with Dynomite the clown (Honkey's archenemy) holding my shirt up showing the message. I also have photos of me in front of a Mannequin Jesus holding my shirt up. Good times were had by one and all. Honkey is a Pussy. True performers (Patriots) know the show must go on.
posted by Zach at 4:40 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home