If 2 don't rock her, order a...

So, we went down to the in-laws after christmas 'til NYE. I really wish I had brough something to read, as beyond Walmart and the Rural King, there isn't much to do in Charleson, IL. However, it is a college town, so we had one good drinkin' night. We went to an Alcoholic's bar, the Uptowner, I think, where the special was $2 UV vodka drinks and $1 Miller lites. I'm here to tell you that if you're ever out of Robitussin, UV Cherry and Red Bull tastes EXACTLY the same. FUGH. So, after a couple dollar beers, we went to the hard-on bar where my wife and her sister and their friend were more likely to have the unwelcome encounter with HS classmates. The bar used to be called Stix as in pool cues, or more accurately, "Fuck Stix". It's now called the Panther Paw, which reminds me of the Peach Pit.
Anyway, their signature beer is called THE SHOCKER! We excitedly ordered a pitcher (for $6)...
and as soon as it touched our lips we felt like barfing. Good God, if you were trying to teach someone a lesson about the perils of beer drinking, take them out for a Shocker. What untold horrors would a Shocker Hangover hold?
Well, at least it's Aptly named...