OMG I am an old man.

A few weeks ago, we bought a new mop at target....
To Whom it May Concern:

I purchased your Vileda Pro Twist Plus mop at Target a few weeks ago and used it for the first time Saturday, September 10th. It broke on the second wring. I am appalled how cheaply constructed it is, and how you could ever think that the design could stand up to the tension it's placed under during normal use. The plastic post that holds the end on is not nearly strong enough to withstand the wringing. I have enclosed it so you can see the point of failure I am referencing. Especially surprising is that it is intended to last when it's inserted into the hollow metal mop handle. The edge of the hole neatly sheared the plastic post off, as you can see.
I am additionally surprised that Target, a retailer that I have come to trust, sold such a shoddy product, and have carbon copied them on this letter.
I am writing to request a check in the amount of your suggested retail price. I do not have the receipt, but it is plain to see from the broken part where the fault lies. I am not interested in a replacement product unless the post that anchors the head to the handle has been replaced with a metal pop-rivet.
Thank you in advance for your speedy handling of my reimbursement. Feel free to contact me by any means listed on this letter if you have any questions.

I copied Target on that letter (don't get me started on how long it toom ke to get their address from their website), and they immediately sent me a $15 gift card. Freudenberg, the makers of OCedar cleaning products sent me the following in return:

Dear Sir or Madame:
Thank you for your interest in the Vileda O-Cedar products. We appreciate the time you took to let us know about the issue you were having. Please use the enclosed coupon on any Vileda O-Cedar Product you wish.
Please Feel Free to contact us (blah, Blah, Blah edited for time)
We would like to assure you that quality and customer satisfaction are our highest priority. Also, Customer feedback helps us maintain out high quality standards. We hope you continue to use your Vileda O-cedar product with continued success.
We look foward to hearing from you soon. Sincerely, Vileda O-Cedar Consumer Affairs Department

I'm staring to feel like Ted Nancy with all these letters. I worte them back saying:

To Whom it May Concern:
I wrote the letter marked "A", and received the form letter marked "B" from you guys. Proof positive that you are completely out of touch with customers, and didn't take the time to read my letter. Suffice it to say that I will never purchase a product from your company, and thank you for printing the rest of your nameplates on the letter so I can avoid those brands as well.

Ahhhhh. That oughtta show 'em! At least I have my Target gift card. If I ever buy another mop, it'll be a janitor-sized one with a bucket that rolls and has the mop press on it and all. That's the only way to go. You'd be shocked how expensive those are.

Well, I have some AM radio to go listen to. I can't wait 'til Paul Harvey tells me the "REST of the story."!