Pranks
And, as a point of clarification on the previous post, I did play plenty of pranks. However, I'm way too clever to simply sharpie someone's forehead (or penis head), or cover them in shaving cream or take a picture of them sleeping with a hotdog by their mouth...
One time, a guy stormed into our room after being at the bars. He was ripped and announced that since he was done for the week, he'd have his ideal night by ordering a pizza at our place and have it waiting for him when he got home. He was unbelievably obnoxious and when he did finally leave, we'd had it with him. I called the pizza place he'd ordered from and said in my best drunk voice that I'd changed my mind, and didn't want the pizza. Later, when he got home, he called the pizza place to find out where his food was. When they told him the order had been cancelled, he was so pissed that he broke a window.
Another time, 2 pledge brothers were staying in my apartment. One had dropped out of school, and the other couldn't stand him. Nobody could. For Clarity's sake, they were Flemm and Strapman. Strapman was the one nobody could stand. Anyway, as they were getting ready to go t sleep, Flemm went to the bathroom. I pulled Strapman aside and I said that things had been really tough for Flemm since Strapman had dropped out, and that Flemm was really upset with him. I went on to say that Flemm would never admit how upset he was, and that Strapman couldn't just come out and ask him about it, because Flemm would know I was the one that told Strapman. I concluded by saying that the negativity was really hurting the Fraternity, and that if Strapman had any love for us, he wouldn't let Flemm go to sleep until they'd resolved everything. Flemm didn't get a wink of sleep that night, and he had no idea why Strapman was being so talkative.
Flemm got me back some months later, though. There was a midget (literally) girl who was crazy about me (90 percent of women at ISU were. Crazy that is. Most didn't know me). She was stumpy and wide, and shaved her sideburns, so that when she trapped me at a party and wanted to dance, I could always feel her whiskers.
Anyway, Flemm was sleeping at my place again, and he and another guy convinced the midget, whose name I forget, that I was in love with her and really shy about it. I woke up to her in my loft (top bunk, not excuse for an apartent) with her whispering in my ear and could have really hurt myself jumping out of it as recklessly as I had.
Now THAT'S hazing.
One time, a guy stormed into our room after being at the bars. He was ripped and announced that since he was done for the week, he'd have his ideal night by ordering a pizza at our place and have it waiting for him when he got home. He was unbelievably obnoxious and when he did finally leave, we'd had it with him. I called the pizza place he'd ordered from and said in my best drunk voice that I'd changed my mind, and didn't want the pizza. Later, when he got home, he called the pizza place to find out where his food was. When they told him the order had been cancelled, he was so pissed that he broke a window.
Another time, 2 pledge brothers were staying in my apartment. One had dropped out of school, and the other couldn't stand him. Nobody could. For Clarity's sake, they were Flemm and Strapman. Strapman was the one nobody could stand. Anyway, as they were getting ready to go t sleep, Flemm went to the bathroom. I pulled Strapman aside and I said that things had been really tough for Flemm since Strapman had dropped out, and that Flemm was really upset with him. I went on to say that Flemm would never admit how upset he was, and that Strapman couldn't just come out and ask him about it, because Flemm would know I was the one that told Strapman. I concluded by saying that the negativity was really hurting the Fraternity, and that if Strapman had any love for us, he wouldn't let Flemm go to sleep until they'd resolved everything. Flemm didn't get a wink of sleep that night, and he had no idea why Strapman was being so talkative.
Flemm got me back some months later, though. There was a midget (literally) girl who was crazy about me (90 percent of women at ISU were. Crazy that is. Most didn't know me). She was stumpy and wide, and shaved her sideburns, so that when she trapped me at a party and wanted to dance, I could always feel her whiskers.
Anyway, Flemm was sleeping at my place again, and he and another guy convinced the midget, whose name I forget, that I was in love with her and really shy about it. I woke up to her in my loft (top bunk, not excuse for an apartent) with her whispering in my ear and could have really hurt myself jumping out of it as recklessly as I had.
Now THAT'S hazing.
posted by Zach at 11:05 AM
2 Comments:
I feel sorry for the midget...and I'm tall.
Rightly so. What if I referred to her as a troll? I think she met the height requirement to be called a little person, but I don't mean to be callous. My only defense is that she was nuts (also a PC term).
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